


the mighty fall (in love)

by jitters



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: (with pre-canon and post-canon liberties taken~), Canon Compliant, M/M, spoilers for pretty much the entire series including kh3 trailers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 04:24:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17196458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jitters/pseuds/jitters
Summary: Riku has spent more years loving Sora, than he has spent allowing himself to live.





	the mighty fall (in love)

**Author's Note:**

> when kh3 releases the later parts of this are likely going to be invalidated, as i based a certain section only on the footage we've seen in the trailers. but for now, enjoy? :3

Riku is 5 years old, and he’s too young to know what love is.

That’s what his mother told him anyway, the day he came home from playing with Sora and proudly declared his love for his best friend with such pride that his mother burst into laughter. Unable to see what was so funny about it, Riku only stared at her in response, and she patted his head, telling him how cute it was but that he’d soon grow out of the habit of using that word so freely.

“What should I say instead?” Riku had asked.

“He’s important to you, right?” Riku nodded. “He matters to you. I’m sure that’s what you meant to say.”

It didn’t feel quite right, but Riku shrugged and let it be. Adults know things.

 

 

But Riku thinks he does understand, when he’s visited by a handsome stranger, another one of those adults he normally has such a hard time trusting, and he confesses his deepest desires; a want to leave, and see the outside world and gain the strength he needs to protect what matter. To protect what he loves. To protect Sora.

This stranger seems to understand Riku better than anyone else ever has, even in just their short meeting, and Riku trusts him enough to lay a hand on the weapon he points towards him, feeling a strange comfort flow through him when he touches it but otherwise noticing no difference within himself.

Regardless, he’s seen enough superhero movies to wonder if he has special powers, and all he can think about is showing them off to Sora and all the cool things they may be able to do with them, and--

“You’ve gotta keep this a secret, okay?” The stranger tells him. “Otherwise, all the magic will wear off.”

It’s a promise he keeps so earnestly, a point later comes when Riku can’t remember it himself.

 

 

 

A few days pass, and Riku wonders why he hasn’t obtained any powers yet. There’s no change in his strength, no super-speed, no additional limbs or sharper teeth. No horns or wings or heightened senses, no indication at all that he was given any sort of power, but he doesn’t want to stop believing in it, even if he has to pull the strength out himself.

Sora won today’s coin toss, so they play pirates on the beach on the main island until late into the evening, something they’re only allowed to do because their houses are so near the shore that any noise they make could be heard by enough neighbors that nothing could happen. Riku supposes this may be the one upside to living life so secluded; there’s little danger outside the water itself, and that’s why he and Sora spend so much time playing their fantasy games and creating the adventure they fear they’ll never find.

There’s never much complexity to their games; at best they’ve used their snacks as replacement for treasure, but quickly found out the downside of that is ending up with mouthfuls of sand after they dig them up.

Now, they settle for imaginary treasure, or any items they happen to find on the beach that day they can hide without losing or damaging, and their weapons are limited to the two wooden swords Sora’s dad had made for them the day Sora read his first pirate adventure book and recounted the events to Riku in excruciating detail, insisting that he’d grow up to be a pirate – but one who only steals from bad guys.

It became his favorite game, and though Riku never had much interests in pirates before, he has to admit that sparring with Sora is more fun than sitting around with him. He feels strong when he fights, and when he fights Sora he knows neither of them will get hurt.

On this day in particular, Riku isn’t too set on winning, thoughts still occupied by the disappointment of his supposed power refusing to present itself in a way he can feel or see, and Sora easily takes advantage of Riku’s distraction, knocking Riku’s sword out of his hands and into the sand.

Riku smiles. “That was pretty cool, Sora.”

“You think so?!” Sora beams, breaking character just for that second before he hurries to assert his pirate status, climbing atop the rock at the edge of the shore and striking a victory pose – one hand on his hip and the other in the air, pointing his sword towards the sky. “I declare this land mine!”

Riku chuckles at the sight, but plays along, pretending to collapse on the beach and crawl towards him on his hands and knees. “I surrender captain, I surrender!”

Sora sticks his tongue out at Riku below, turning on his heel to point his sword at his friend, when his flip flop slips on the wet rock, and Sora stumbles, dropping his sword into the water and tripping forward.

“Sora!” Riku yells, onto his feet before he has a chance to think about it, making it to the bottom of the rock in time to catch Sora and break his fall. “Ow!”

“Sorry Riku,” Sora whines, rolling over onto the sand and pouting when he sees his wooden sword drifting out to sea. Without permission to swim at night and no parents around to help them, he drops his head in defeat and kicks the sand with his toes. “Shoot.”

“Are you alright?” Riku asks, more concerned about Sora than a piece of wood, but his best friend remains unperturbed by the scare he’d just given him.

“How are we going to play pirates now?” Sora frowns, and Riku pushes himself onto his feet, grabbing his own sword and gripping it tightly in his hand, staring at it in thought. He’s always felt protective of Sora, but he responded so easily to his risk of danger, he has to wonder if the stranger had something to do with it.

“We’ll figure something out, I promise.” Maybe he can only use his powers when protecting someone else. That would explain the stranger’s weird speech that Riku can only remember pieces of, and heroes in storybooks always have certain rules to their powers when they get them. If that’s how Riku’s power works, then he knows he must be meant to protect Sora.

“Riku, what’s that!” Sora gasps, pulling Riku from his thoughts, and he follows Sora’s pointed finger up to the sky, where stars appear to be falling right out of the blue.

“A meteor shower...” Riku’s eyes widen, bewildered, but with a level of fascination where he almost can’t seem to pull them away. “They look like stars from here, but it’s more like rocks falling from the sky. Really big ones.”

“Really big rocks...” Sora’s voice seems tiny, and in his peripheral vision Riku catches Sora shifting closer to him, more fear in his eyes than the excitement that Riku’s are twinkling with. “What happens if they hit us here? Someone could get hurt.”

 

Riku pulls his gaze away from the stars to Sora’s face, a heaviness in his chest growing when he sees how strong he’s trying to be, and how much he’s failing to keep the worry off his face. Riku grabs Sora’s hand and holds it in his own, proudly pointing his sword up to the sky in the same way Sora had only moments before, grinning from ear to ear. “If that happens, I’ll protect you! I’ll protect you from anything!”

He’s so proud of himself, Riku doesn’t look down, staring into the blue sky above with a promise made to both Sora and himself, and he feels Sora tightly clasp both his hands around Riku’s by his side before his mother’s voice cuts through the night air, calling them both inside to hide away from the shower.

 

 

 

The next day, it’s as if nothing happened. Riku’s parents don’t mention it, don’t have any concerns about the safety of the island, so Riku has no choice but to assume everything turned out just fine. Despite that, he feels different, after making Sora such a grand promise, almost as if he grew stronger from the promise alone.

When it’s time for him to race out his door again, Riku hesitates when he reaches for his sword, remembering what happened to Sora’s the night before and how he’d also promised to find a solution to their loss. He can’t make another one, not one that would look as good as his anyway, so Riku’s next best choice is finding a game that only requires one sword.

Out his window, Riku’s eye catches a glimmer from a tree branch, and ever the curious one, he can’t resist the pull it has on him, and he reaches out to find a silver necklace hanging on it. He can’t quite make out the symbol until it’s in his hands, at which point Riku finds himself staring at it, admiring the design.

“Riiiikuuu!” Sora’s voice calls, as it does every day in the summer, and Riku looks down to the ground below to see his best friend’s shining face waiting for him. “Come on down!”

“Coming~” Riku sings back to him, and a stroke of genius occurs to him as his eyes catch Sora and the necklace in his sights in the same glance. He shoves the necklace in his pocket, and reaches for his sword, pushing his home-made ladder down from his windowsill to the grass below, climbing down it and meeting Sora with a toothy grin. “Sorry to keep you waiting, your majesty.”

“What does that mean?” Sora loosely cocks his head to the side, and Riku shakes his.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll race you!"

He takes off towards the dock where Sora’s dad is waiting for them, and though Sora beats him there, Riku doesn’t feel any less like a winner. He has a few more secrets now, but he keeps them locked behind quiet lips until they’re dropped off on the tiny island where they play, waiting until Sora’s dad is out of earshot before he grabs Sora’s hand and breaks off into a run.

“Where are we going, Riku?” Sora asks, but he never tries to stop. He usually goes along with what Riku says, after all, and Riku is rather grateful for that today.

“Here.” Riku releases Sora’s hand when he stops short just below the tallest, most intimidating tree on this island, at the base of which lies a hole surrounded by overgrown shrubbery and an eerie sense of darkness. “We should explore the secret place today.”

“But...” Sora’s eyes drift from Riku to the dark shadow cast over the entrance to the secret place, a contemplative frown taking over his face. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Sora’s putting on a brave face, but Riku knows the previous night shook him more than he’d ever be willing to admit, especially after losing the cherished toy he also viewed as a symbol of protection for himself. If Riku has anything to say about it though, he won’t need it so badly anymore.

“We’re not pirates anymore,” Riku explains, reaching into his pocket. “But I think there’s something that suits me better anyway. Here...”

Riku hands Sora the necklace, and Sora is all smiles as he holds it up, pulling it over his head so the crown symbol falls to the center of his chest. “A crown?”

Riku nods. “You’re the prince.” He grips the handle of his wooden sword with both hands, holding it in an offensive position instead of his usual defensive one, determined fire in his eyes and an intense point to his eyebrows. “I’m your knight, and it’s my duty to protect you. As long as you’re with me, nothing bad will happen, even in the secret place.”

Sora stares for a moment, but Riku doesn’t break character, wanting Sora to know how serious he is about this, and it seems to pay off, for Sora eventually nods with a much softer smile than Riku knew Sora was capable of showing. No teeth bared, eyes closed, Sora looks almost peaceful. “That game sounds fun too. Okay, then let’s go, knight!”

Sora punches into the air with excitement, and Riku wishes he could tell Sora all about how this is so much more than just a game for him. But he settles for playing around with him, deciding for himself that he was right about love from the start.  


 

 

Riku is 9, and he thinks he understands the meaning of love.

It does however, seem ill-timed, as Riku sits outside the principal’s office at school waiting for his mom to pick him up. His face is swollen and his fists sting and he’s sure the other kid looks worse, but he regrets nothing. His feet kick aimlessly where his legs hang off the chair – he can almost touch the ground now, but not quite yet – the adrenaline keeping him from any sort of calm. He’s in trouble. Bigger than he’s ever been in, he bets, but Riku has also never felt so _smug_.

“Riku!” Sora bursts in the door, unlike the mother he was expecting, but this is a better sight for him anyway, especially after the fight he just won. If anything, Riku’s ego doubles in size when he sees him, and he holds in the wince he feels when Sora climbs onto the seat next to him and shoves a cold ice pack onto his face. “Are you okay? Everyone’s talking about what happened.”

“Really?” Riku sits up, unable to push away the smirk on his face – not that he wants to. “I guess it was pretty cool, even if Tidus had to be a baby and tell on me.”

“Tidus is pretty good at fighting,” Sora admits, eyes staring wide at Riku’s bruises. “Why did you try and fight him anyway?”

“I didn’t just try, I won!” Riku corrects him, pointing a proud thumb at his chest. "He deserved it anyway, it only turned into a fight because he decided to hit me back.”

“Most people would,” Sora notes as he reaches a hand out to brush the scar on Riku’s cheek. Riku does wince, from this touch, but it’s out of surprise rather than pain. “Still, why did you want to hit him?”

Riku frowns, looking at his shoes and sniffling for no reason at all. “He was making fun of us, so I had to.”

“Us?” Sora’s voice raises, earning him a hush from across the room, and though he obeys it, he doesn’t pay any mind to where it came from, eyes locked on Riku.

“I said I loved you and he said that was weird,” Riku shrugs, voice hushed. He’d never been made to feel ashamed of such a thing before, but now all he can do is wonder if everyone else thinks it’s as weird as Tidus did.

“That’s not weird,” Sora shakes his head. “We’re best friends, of course we love each other.” Sora never cares what anyone thinks. Why would he now?

Riku always used to believe the same thing, after all. But now Tidus is in his head and he can’t stop wondering if there’s something weird about it that he isn’t seeing.

“Is that all he said, and you hit him?” Sora presses for more, always on the edge of his seat for Riku’s stories in a way that makes Riku want to embellish just to give him the entertainment he deserves. If anything, he wishes he could do the opposite, this time.

“He started saying you were like a girl because we hold hands and spend all of our time together. He was saying your like my girlfriend or something...” Riku wipes his mouth, but he can’t bring himself to look at Sora when he reveals that part.

“That’s stupid!” Sora laughs, and Riku feels nervous, waiting on bated breath hoping Sora doesn’t agree with him. “I’m not a girl so he should’ve said boyfriend. Is that why you hit him, Riku? For calling me a girl?”

Riku smiles to himself. He should’ve trusted Sora more than that. “Yeah,” he fibs. “Tidus is pretty stupid, huh. Why would I want a girlfriend?”

“Right, me neither!” Sora hops onto his feet, and Riku’s stomach feels a little funny, like he might be sick, but he’s not upset about it. “We’re way too young for girlfriends!”

He takes it back. Maybe it’s an upset stomach after all.

“That reminds me,” Sora bounces on his heels. “Kairi’s going to be mad at you for fighting, so you should let me tell her instead.”

“Yeah, okay,” Riku nods, unable to smile along with Sora as he runs off to fulfill that promise with a pep in his step. His victory feels like satisfying as he watches Sora leave.

He stops telling Sora he loves him after that. Something about it doesn’t feel right anymore.

  
  


 

  
Riku is 13, and he feels like something must be wrong with him.

All of his classmates seem to care about things that couldn’t interest him less, like who has a crush on who, and which girls or boys they’d rather take to the school dances. Riku doesn’t even see the point of those. If they want to dance with each other so badly, they can do it by themselves instead of in front of everyone else.

He doesn’t see the point in crushes either. There’s nothing wrong with any of the girls in his class, some of them are so pretty they could be models, and some are so sweet to him he feels bad he doesn’t really deserve it. But whatever it is the other guys are feeling when they talk to them, Riku doesn’t feel it.

None of their unique qualities affect him any differently. He doesn’t much care that some re prettier. It doesn’t matter to him which girl has the best grades, or the best fashion sense. They’re all the same to him.

On Valentine’s Day, especially this one in particular, Riku feels the most like he doesn’t fit in.

The first girl to stop by his desk in the morning, passes him a delicately prepared card and scurries away out of his classroom before he has a chance to so much as thank her, and Riku doesn’t get why she’d want to give him a letter if she can’t even talk to him.

The second and third come linked at the arms, girls Riku knows to be best friends with each other, but he’d be hard pressed to remember their names. They each hand him nearly identical cards of their own, the only difference the color of the handwriting inside, and they smile and giggle at each other before they scurry to their seats on the other side of the classroom, continuing to glance at him so blatantly that Riku has to turn his back to them just to get some peace.

Girls four through seven are less memorable, all blending together if he’s honest about it, so by the time number eight rolls around at the end of the day, Riku finds this whole thing to be a nuisance more than anything.

Girl number eight is the one all the guys in his class never seem to stop talking about. She’s tall and slender, with a face both kind and striking, but just like all the rest of them, Riku can barely remember her name. With more confidence than the rest of them had though, she bends over to look Riku in the eye as she hands off her letter, sending him both a wink and a wave as she strolls out of the classroom with a skip that flips her skirt upwards.

All the boys crowd around Riku’s desk after that one, throwing out questions overlapping each other, wondering how he snagged the hottest girl in school and if he’s going to choose her or maybe choose more than one girl and juggle them at once. Riku cringes at that one, but more than anything he just wants to shove them all away. He’s not quite so rude though, offering an uncomfortable smile and shrugging both of his shoulders.

“I’m not going to choose anyone,” he tells them, shaking his head and haphazardly stuffing all the letters into his book bag. “I’m not interested in that kind of thing.”  
  
“What kind of thing?” The boy who sits in front of him asks, turning all the way around in his seat with an incredulous look. “Girls?”

Riku shrugs again. “Dating them. These girls never even talk to me, why would I want to start dating them because they gave me a note on a holiday?”

The boys stare at him, some mouths agape, some judgmental looks, but the boy in the seat next to him pats Riku’s shoulder. “It’s that feeling, right? When you’re with a cute girl and your heart goes _ba-bump_!”

“Yeah, yeah!” Another adds, standing on top of the chair behind Riku. “When she’s so cute you can’t help but stare and just her paying attention to you gets your blood bumping, you know what I mean?”

The boys all jeer in agreement, some of them making obscene comments, but Riku is quick to shove those off, looping his book bag over his shoulder and trying to push through the crowd to leave. “I already have someone like that,” he shakes his head.

“Is it that Kairi girl?” One of the boys asks behind him, but Riku rolls his eyes.

“No, stupid!” Riku hears the faint sound of the previous boy being hit. “Sora’s with Kairi, that’s why none of the guys ever give her anything.”

Those words make Riku stop in the doorway, a funny pang in his chest he doesn’t like and at least four things he could find wrong with the things these guys are so sure of. But they’re not worth it, and Riku has actual friends to meet, so he flips his hair over his shoulder and scoffs at all of them, trotting down the stairs and to the front of the school where he finds Kairi and Sora waiting for him with beaming smiles.

“Riku!” They both shout in unison, and it’s already a better day.

“Riku, Riku,” Kairi calls again when they’re on the path towards home. “Did you get any love confession letters today?”

“Confession!?” Sora hollers before Riku can open his mouth, shoving his way between Kairi and Riku to get a better listen. “That’s what all these notes are about?”

Kairi laughs behind her hand. “Of course, silly, what did you think they were for?”

“Um...nothing?” Sora chuckles awkwardly, trying to be casual when he hides his hands behind his back, but Riku and Kairi both catch him, and with only a shared nod between them, Riku grabs Sora around his torso while Kairi sneaks behind him to snatch what’s in his hand, letting out a gasp when she finds two sloppily crafted Valentine’s Day cards, with each of their names on one of them.

“Riku, look!” Kairi smiles, handing Riku the one with his name on it, and Riku grins when he opens it and finds a crudely drawn doodle of himself inside along with a simple but heartfelt note. With a peer over his shoulder, he sees Kairi has about the same.

Sora whines and rubs the back of his neck with red in his cheeks. “My mom just told me it was a day for telling people you love them. I gave her one and then made one for each of my best friends. I didn’t know there was more to it.”

Kairi laughs a bit harder, but she presses the card to her heart with delight. “No Sora, this is great! Way better than the confession letters. Right, Riku?”

She looks up at him, and Riku nods, but he’s quickly lost in the smile that Sora flashes in relief. He can’t help but stare.

“I’m glad!” Sora beams, bouncing on both of his feet. “Because I love you guys!”

Riku smiles and stares some more, and when he looks down at his card again, he’s almost shaken by the distinct _ba-bump_ in his chest.

 _Oh._ Riku suddenly cares about the eight girls even less than he had before. _Oh no._

 

 

 

  
  
Riku is 14, and nothing makes sense anymore.  
  
Lately he’s been angry; not at anything in particular, not at any _one_ in particular, but he’s angry and it never seems to go away. It takes so little to annoy him, such tiny things to rub him the wrong way, and he’s constantly on edge around the people he considers to be his closest friends. Even Sora, whose presence in his life has always been a comfort, has felt distressing to be around, a feeling only amplified when Kairi joins them.

They’re Riku’s two most cherished friends, and nothing about this feeling makes any sense to him. The only thing more distressing, is when he’s away from them. That confuses Riku even more.

It begins to make sense one day when Sora is home sick from school.

Riku and Kairi meet at their usual spot for lunch with the others, but they leave Sora’s spot at their outdoor table empty, as they always do when anyone is missing. It never feels right to replace them with another person, or even an inanimate object.

“It’s so much quieter when Sora’s gone,” Kairi muses with a frown, kicking her feet under the table with a munch on sandwich. “It’s only been half a day, but I already miss him!”

 _Me too_ , Riku thinks. “It’s too soon for that,” he scowls. It comes out harsher than he intended, something he realized when not only Kairi, but Selphie looks up at him with confused hurt in her eyes. “I mean… What, are the rest of us not enough? We’re fun too.”

The girls blink at him, until Tidus slides down into Sora’s spot next to Riku and nudges his shoulder. “Hey, what’s up, Riku? You mad at Kairi or something?”

“No way,” Riku shrugs Tidus’ hand off. “It just seems like there’s something going on between the two of them, doesn’t it?”

“No...” Selphie deliberately cocks her head to the side. “What do you mean?”  
  
Riku’s eyes meet Kairi’s, and his face turns red, not out of embarrassment, but he can’t quite pin down what’s causing it enough to be certain of that. Kairi clears her throat seeing that, and nods toward Selphie, who grabs Tidus by the arm and escorts him off towards Wakka’s classroom instead.

“Do we need to talk…?” Kairi asks, pushing her lunch away from in front of her and giving Riku her full attention, and the earnest look on her face has Riku feeling a mix of guilt and frustration for how clueless she seems to be about it.

Riku shoves his lunch to the side. He wasn’t hungry anyway. “Do you like him more than you like me?”

“What do you...” Kairi looks confused at first, and then concerned. “You’re both my best friends. Why would you ask me to choose?”

Riku goes quiet, but his eyes never leave Kairi, the worry in her eyes pressing right on his heart, and he can only think of how Sora would react, how Riku knows that Sora would side with Kairi right away. Even though he’d be right, something about that thought makes Riku angry. He balls his fists on the table. “He called to tell you he was sick this morning, didn’t he?”

Kairi nods. “So?”

“So why not me?” Riku’s honest feelings leak out, more honest than he wants to be, really. “He’s always the first one you think of, and you’re the first one he thinks of. What about me?”  
  
“Riku,” Kairi says firmly, and before Riku can react she reaches out both of her hands and covers Riku’s with them. They’re just as soft and delicate as she is. “Sora and I both love you. The three of us are best friends. We all complete each other. Remember that, okay?”

Riku doesn’t really believe her, but god does he want to, so he squeezes Kairi’s hands and pulls them back, putting on a comforting smile he can’t promise much honesty in and trying to forget about the paranoia that his two best friends will one day decide they don’t need him anymore.

 

 

Walking home with Kairi later and listening to her tell him about her day, Riku thinks it’s almost working. Her smile is comforting, her voice calming, and the way she talks his ear off despite how boring her day likely was in reality offers Riku some reassurance that she really does like having him around after all.

He’s almost ready to let it go and tell himself he was overreacting, until they pass Sora’s house and Kairi stops to run up to the door without so much as a warning. Sora opens it so quickly Riku would almost guess he was waiting by the window for them to pass – or rather, for Kairi to pass, and Riku huffs, kicking a stone across the road and avoiding stepping any closer.

He can’t hear what they’re saying from here, but Riku can’t ignore how much they’re both smiling, even when Kairi hands Sora his homework and he doesn’t frown nearly as much as he should be for something he hates so much.

Riku might as well not even be here. It’s not like Sora would know the difference.

It doesn’t take him long to decide Kairi wouldn’t either, and Riku storms off ahead without her, leaving her and Sora to talk for as long as they want and hoping he makes it home before Kairi has time to catch up with him.

Lucky for him, Kairi’s athletic prowess only applies to activities banking on her flexibility and stamina; she could destroy them both in acrobatics but she’s never come close to beating Riku in a run.

“Riku!” She calls from behind him, so far away Riku’s sure she’s not even trying.

“I’m fine!” he calls back over his shoulder, and kicks the ground to punctuate the biggest lie he’s ever told her.

The smile Sora flashed Kairi in that moment flashes even brighter before Riku’s eyes, and he audibly groans.

He wonders if there’s love in wanting to be someone’s number one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Riku is 15, and he’s on the wrong side of the door.

The heartless are coming, in waves like Riku has never seen and sizes he’s never faced, and even the King is scared, even if he won’t admit it.

Riku has his hands on the door, not wanting to step away from it, when his best friend stands on the other side of it, struggling to close a barrier between them that could lead to them never seeing each other again. It’s what Riku deserves, in his mind, for all the betrayal and the doubt he’d cast on Sora, but it still hurts.

Everything happens in slow motion, Riku unable to look anywhere but in Sora’s eyes as the door slowly closes between them. They’re losing each other, after trying so hard to find each other, and it isn’t fair to Sora.

“Take care of her,” Riku advises softly, and he means it. If Sora has to lose Riku, he shouldn’t have to lose his other best friend along with him, and it’s all Riku can ask in what may be their final moments together for Sora to cherish the best friend he has left, after all Riku put him through.

But he doesn’t get any more last words, before the doors clang shut, and the light from the King’s keyblade blinds him, brighter than anything Riku has ever seen. It cuts through the darkness like a sword through paper, and by the time Riku’s eyes adjust, the doorway has disappeared.

There’s nothing but darkness, and Riku collapses from the weight of it, hands and knees on the ground in defeat and an irritating pressure in his chest. Riku closes his eyes and all he can see is Sora’s face beyond that door, over and over, the image growing more and more distorted until Riku hardly recognizes him.

It’s all his fault. Riku drew negative feelings out of Sora he never had a reason to feel before, dragged Sora all across the worlds to satisfy his own curiosity and desperation to keep Sora’s interest hooked on him.

Riku regrets that it worked. The guilt he feels has never been more powerful, more soul crushing, than when the memories flash before his eyes, of the horrible things he’d said to Sora and the fights he forced him to battle, the things he almost did to Kairi in his mission and the people he let himself be manipulated by.

For all he knows, if it weren’t for him, Sora and Kairi would be safe at home, and that thought alone is enough for Riku to change his mind about his fate. He deserves this, endless wandering through the darkness for someone as broken as he is, but it won’t solve anything. Riku can’t be satisfied, until he makes it all up to Sora and proves to him what he meant to him all along, even when the darkness twisted his emotions into ugly ones he’d like nothing more than to be rid of.

He can’t leave Sora alone like this, without help to move on, without certainty that everything will turn out alright. If he’s done so much to hurt him it has to be Riku’s duty to fix everything he did too.

Riku opens his eyes, lids heavy and struggling to life for him, but the darkness isn’t surrounding him anymore. Riku sees nothing at all.

“Sora?” Riku calls into the emptiness, and when the sound echoes back to him, Riku falls asleep with one thought on his mind: Love makes you want to do better.

 

 

 

  
  
Riku is 16, and he just might be a murderer.

He isn’t sure what else he could call it, as he looks down as Roxas’ body on the ground, standing victorious over someone he has no reason to hate. In fact, he doesn’t hate him. He couldn’t. Roxas looks just like Sora. Just like the person Riku has gone through all this trouble to save. It’s not easy to go head-to-head in a battle with someone like that, and not come out of it emotionally compromised. It’s hopeless, without Roxas. As long as Roxas lives, Sora can never wake up.

That’s a worse nightmare than any of the ones Ansem gave him.

For a moment Riku wonders if it would be easier if he was evil, if he hated Roxas and wanted to fight him for his own sake. If Roxas at least deserved it. But Roxas doesn’t deserve any of this; his only mistake was being born, and he had no more say in that than any human does.

In an ideal world, Riku would let him stay, and let the puppet stay along with him. More people like Sora in the world would never be a bad thing, and Riku knows Sora wouldn’t want to rob them of their chances to live any more than they want to surrender them.

It’s all over, and Riku is tired. Emotionally and physically, he’s drained, wanting all of this to be over so Sora can wake up as if nothing happened just like he did every time he overslept for school in the morning after a sleepover and Riku had to wake him up with a pillow to the face.

If only that still worked now, Roxas wouldn’t have to suffer too.

Riku stares down at his best friend’s nobody, absently shaking his head as he thrusts Oblivion into the ground next to him. To his surprise, Roxas stirs, picking the keyblade up for himself and forcing Riku to attack defensively, dodging away from him.

“Why don’t you quit!?” Roxas yells, but Riku only stares. So familiar, and yet...his voice, his hair, his attitude...these aren’t Sora, to him.

He needs a reminder.

“Come on, Sora,” Riku teases, not fazed by Roxas’ scowl. “I thought you were stronger than that.”

“Huh?” Roxas’ scowl softens. “Get real. Look which one of us is winning!" 

Riku’s shoulders slump, and his stomach turns from the inside. He may see a different person before him, but parts of Sora are in there, and Riku needs them back. More than anything. More than he needs his morals, or self respect, or the light. More than he needs to worry about what happens to him. He needs Sora back. All of him.

Roxas’ strike comes so swiftly Riku can’t fully block it in time, and the force of the hit causes him to fall back, feeling a surge of pain he isn’t used to. He’s borrowing too much of Sora’s power, too.

“You’ve left me with no other choice,” Riku groans, straining his muscles just to stand upright, and pulls the blindfold from his eyes, letting it fall wherever it may. “I have to release the dark power in my heart that I’ve been holding back. Even if it changes me forever.”

_I’m sorry, Sora. Someday I’ll tell you the words that will make you understand._

Riku calls upon the darkness in his heart, surrendering to it and repeating horrible thoughts to himself to engage it; _Roxas isn’t real, Roxas is just a nobody. Nobodies don’t have hearts, so he won’t feel this. Even if he did, he’ll never matter as much as Sora._

He doesn’t know if he believes them; they’re all things DiZ has told him at some point, and each one powers the darkness inside him, bringing it to the surface and flowing through his veins, power surging through him as his body morphs along with it. It’s painful, pain that doesn’t end even when he gives up power to the Guardian and floats on air. But his own pain means nothing in the long run. His suffering isn’t what’s important.

_Anything for Sora. Anything._

The Guardian squeezes the life out of Roxas before his eyes, and though he’s never felt further from himself, in his heart Riku feels a stirring sensation of a feeling he always gets when Sora’s near. Roxas’ keyblades fall and disappear, and Riku understands. Love is the person you’d give up everything for. Even yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

Riku is 17, and he’s in love with his best friend.

He can’t remember anymore, why he ever questioned it, why he let anyone else try to poison his mind, or why he took so long to accept it. Sora was the first friend he ever made, but by no means the only one, yet Riku has known every day that he ever spent with Sora, that something was different, in the way Riku felt about him, compared to anyone else.

But he never realized how different, until he found himself diving directly into Sora’s heart in the darkest abyss, turning himself into a Dream Eater and sealing himself to Sora’s fate in order to battle the nightmares that plagued him and trapped him in his slumber. Even more certain, when he realized his certain lack of regret or consideration; he’d do it again, a thousand, a million times if he had to, if it meant he could save Sora from an eternal sleep. He never imagined it would be a giant talking mouse to help him realize it, but a lot of things about Riku’s life have been surprising thus far, and that wouldn’t even crack the top 5.

Even in dreams, Sora makes him hear music, and if the king’s words are to be believed, Sora hears Riku’s music too. If he had his way, Riku could go the rest of his life having their hearts’ song be the only one he ever hears again, and he’d never complain one bit. His heart isn’t singing for anyone else, and that’s exactly how Riku likes it.

There’s nothing quite like waking up from an ordeal like that, to his best friend attacking him with a full-bodied hug, and Riku can’t find the words nor the body language to show Sora how badly he wished he had the courage or the personality to do it the other way around. His words all seem to be going in one of Sora’s ears and out the other, but it’s no bother; Sora’s words aren’t landing much either, when Riku’s so distracted by how giddy Sora is to see him again. It may be the happiest he’s ever seen Sora, and Riku has never felt more at ease.

  
“You’re amazing, Riku,” Sora coos later, still starry-eyed over Riku’s master placement despite failing his own. “You make everything seem so easy.”

“It was,” Riku says without thinking, taking it back the second he sees Sora’s eyes go wide. “I don’t mean the job itself. I’m exhausted. But...” Riku smiles to himself, taking a bite of the slice of cake Donald and Goofy were kind enough to save for him after their impromptu tea party. “It was an easy decision.”

“So you weren’t scared?” Sora leans over the table, drawn in and hooked onto Riku’s every word, even abandoning his table manners and resting his elbows on it.

“Well...” Riku looks into Sora’s sparkling eyes, how fascinated and impressed he is, and it reminds him of when they were young and Sora thought he was the coolest kid there ever was. He doesn’t feel so cool anymore, but he can’t deny how nice it is to see Sora look at him that way again. “Thinking about it now, it was scary. But in the moment all I was thinking about was what I had to do. I didn’t have time to be scared.”

Sora leans back in his chair, his awe-struck smile turning into a satisfied one, and he folds his hands behind his head. “Not spending enough time thinking before acting? You’re more like me than I thought.”

He seems so smug like this, Riku has to shake his head, but he throws him an honest bone. _I love you_ , he thinks. “You’re not so bad,” he says. “I wouldn’t risk my life like that for just anyone.”

Sora sticks his tongue out, but Riku can’t help but stare at every feature on Sora’s face, admiring and noting how they’ve both grown together. ‘Not just anyone’ is more of an understatement than Riku would ever be able to let on. He doesn’t think twice, when it comes to doing things for Sora. He wouldn’t do that for anyone else.

He comes to understand, that love is a force which makes you fearless.

 

 

 

 

 

Riku is still 17, and his friends are disappearing before his eyes.

One by one he’s seen them plunged into the darkness and fallen to it, watched the King and his most loyal men fall, seen Kairi and Lea suffer at the whim of the heartless, and new friends he hasn’t even had a chance to get to know suffer at the hands of the Organization. It’s a minefield, and a battlefield, and a graveyard, and Riku is scared.

What keeps his head strong on his shoulders is Sora out of the corner of his eye, and Riku watches with a sink in his stomach as Sora falls to his knees in defeat, his hands digging into the dirt below him and shoulders slumped, head hanging in a way Riku has never seen before.

Sora has been the person Riku has wanted to protect since the day he was able to understand the words themselves. In all the moments before, when Riku has acted on his promise, the desire has been within him, something known and understood deep down in the corners of his heart he keeps to himself.

That feeling never goes away, but this is different. Sora looks so helpless, so crestfallen, in the peak of his suffering, and the danger only grows. The demon tide that has swiftly taken so many of their friends turns its sights on Sora, heading toward him at breakneck speeds.

Sora doesn’t move.

But it wouldn’t matter if he did, because Riku’s feet are hurling him towards the enemy before Sora even has a chance to lift his head, adrenaline surging through Riku’s veins at a level he’s never felt before. He stops the tide as far from Sora as he can, but he knows it’s not enough, and his keyblade can only do so much damage, and he only has so much stamina to fend it off before it takes hold of him too.  
  
That scares Riku more than anything. If he falls now, Sora will have no one else to turn to, will have no one else to lean on, and Riku doesn’t know who is he if he isn’t someone who can protect Sora.

 _No, that’s not right._ Riku narrows his eyes, unable to hear anything around him but the roar of the shadows and the clang of their bodies against his blade. Sora’s never been one to give up. This isn’t like him. Riku knows better than anyone who strong Sora is, and how much he’s capable on his own, even if he doesn’t realize it.

He just has to make him see that.

Riku digs his heels in, taking a firm stance in the ground with no intention to waver no matter how much pushback he’s given, and pulls his keyblade back once more to thrust it into the hoard.

He thinks of Sora, of every memory they’ve ever made together, of every time Sora has smiled in front of him, has cried on his shoulder, every time they’ve laughed, and every time they’ve fought. His heart stirs, as if he can feel it spinning in his chest, the light and darkness within him mixing into one. In a strange moment of clarity, Riku remembers the night of the meteor shower, and the vow he made to protect Sora form everything, no matter what. He remembers his promise to the cool yet kind stranger who changed his life in ways he can never forget, who gave him the strength to protect what matters.

In that moment, Riku doesn’t have anything to question. Sora is what matters.

Sora is all that matters.

All at once Riku understands; if love is the person whose safety means more to you than your own, Riku is in love.  
  
The light from inside him bursts outward from Braveheart as he plunges it into the heartless hoard, sparks flying all around him as heartless fly past his shoulders; he doesn’t see where they’re going, but as long as Sora’s out of harm’s way it doesn’t matter much to him. He keeps his mind locked on that reminder, that this is all for Sora, and the light from the clash becomes so blinding Riku can hardly keep his eyes open.

But he has to. There’s no other choice, and Riku won’t risk Sora’s safety for anything, and he won’t allow himself to fail him, not again. Even if it takes all he’s got.

 _Even if it takes all I’ve got and more_ , Riku repeats in his mind, gaze intensifying on the heartless until the sparks become so ferocious they’re almost impossible to distinguish from the bright light itself.

The wind picks up, the force of his attack forcing the dust to spin around him, and in any other situation Riku might let it irritate him. This isn’t just any situation, and Riku ignores the stinging in his eyes and the grinding of his teeth, looking deep into his heart to reach for it – everything he’s got.

 _It’s all been for Sora._ Riku’s grip on his keyblade tightens. _I love him._  
  
His jaw clenches tight, his stamina waning until he knows he has to rely on more than just how own light.

_If I’ll never be able to tell him.._

Riku calls upon the remnants of darkness buried within him.

_At least I can show him._

The darkness seeps out of him, fending off enemies of its own kind, the bursts of light and dark energy combining into one powerful blast from Riku’s keyblade, so heavy and strong it feels as if it’s ripping Riku’s heart right out of him, and in one single blink, everything goes white.

When Riku opens his eyes a few seconds later, it’s silent, and the demon tide has disappeared. Riku feels so weak, like his body has already forgotten how to do anything but fall, and it takes every last bit of energy he has to clamber backwards towards Sora, collapsing in front of his best friend and breathing a sigh of relief when he seems to be in one piece.

“I did it...” Riku breathes, heavy and strained, forcing a weak smile across his lips. “You’re safe now. I did it.”

“Riku...” But Sora isn’t smiling.

“You are okay, right?” Riku can barely speak, but he needs to know at least that much before he lets himself give into his exhaustion, and Sora isn’t doing much to dissuade his fears.

“Riku, why did you do that?” Sora’s voice wavers in a way Riku barely recognizes, and through his blurred vision Riku sees the tears welling up in Sora’s eyes.

“Do...” Confused, Riku looks down at his body, and sees Sora reaching for his hand, only to have it go right through Riku’s as if it weren’t there at all. “What’s happening?”

“It’s...like Axel, that time...” Sora’s voice shakes, and Riku can’t bear to listen to it, especially as Sora’s hands grope for Riku’s as they dissipate right before his eyes. “You’re fading away.”

“It took everything I had,” Riku coughs. “I had to protect you, I--”

“Why, for me?” Sora interrupts, lip quivering. “I’m nothing, I’m not even the one who’s supposed to be here, I’m useless without everyone else, I can’t do this without yo--”

“You can.” Riku’s face hardens, his arms – what’s left of them, anyway – wrapping around Sora’s shoulders so they’re looking in each other’s eyes. “You don’t really believe that, I know you don’t.”

Sora begins to cry, and Riku can’t take it.

“Come on Sora… I know you. Look how much you’ve done without me already. Everyone needs you right now. You can do this without me.”

Sora’s eyes are shining from the tears he’s holding in, refusing to let them fall or acknowledge they’re there. “What if I don’t _want_ to?”

Riku opens his mouth to speak, but he coughs instead, leaning forward on his knees mirroring Sora’s position. His legs are disappearing from under him, and his head feels lighter than ever. His next words feel like his last. “Listen Sora, I lo--”

Sora blinks his tears away, staring at Riku so intently, holding onto his every word, and Riku can’t bring himself to say it. He’s never felt so ready, so certain, so confident that he knows exactly what he’s feeling and that he wants Sora to know. But if these are really their last moments together, Riku doesn’t want to be responsible for selfishly putting the guilt of his own feelings on Sora’s shoulders. It would be unfair at any time, but the scene surrounding them reminds Riku of how much Sora still has to accomplish. And he can’t do it.

It feels somewhat disappointing to let himself go without ever voicing the feelings that have held him together since childhood, but this isn’t about him. If Sora is the sun, Riku is merely one of the planets in his orbit, and he won’t let himself be selfish enough to forget his role in all of this. “I believe in you,” Riku whispers instead, only loud enough for Sora to hear, and he closes his eyes as the last of his energy begins to leave him.

He doesn’t hear, nor feel anything else as his body fades away into nothing, Sora’s tear-filled face the last thing he sees before he finds himself in darkness.

He isn’t certain how much time goes on, after that, but he’s never been as happy to hear Sora’s voice as when it cuts through the realm of darkness right to him.

 

 

 

Riku is 18, and his bed has never felt more unfamiliar to him.

After being away from home so long, so many times, after sleeping in so many makeshift beds or in the seat of the gummi ship, or wherever he could find peace just to close his eyes, instead of reassuring, Riku finds his bed to be unsettling. It’s so quiet, so lonely, and Riku’s anxieties keep him unable to push away the thought that something could go wrong at any moment, and he’ll be on his feet again off to risk his life in yet another world.

The wind used to bring him peace, and the brushing of the tree leaves and the crashing sound of the waves outside his window used to lull him to sleep at night; now Riku finds that every sound, every animal call, reminds him of something or somewhere he’d rather forget.

To make it all the more cruel, he’s still afraid of the dark.

A while back now, he moved his bed closer to the window so the moonlight would always shine down on his face. It would have annoyed him years ago, but now it allows him a reminder that there’s always light in every darkness he faces, without him having to embarrass himself by having a night light at his age.

He doesn’t keep track of the time anymore; the ticking of the clock caused his stress to spike and the quickly passing hours made him dread the morning even more as he would count down the number of hours he had left to sleep.

On this night, he’s almost ready to give up and go for a walk on the beach, when he feels a tap to the top of his head. When he reaches up to touch it, he finds a small pebble resting on his pillow.

“Riku?”

A small voice outside catches his attention, but it takes him a few seconds to sit up, and when he leans his head out the window, another pebble hits him square in the forehead.

“Oh, sorry!” Sora’s strained whisper rings in Riku’s ears, and he smiles as he throws the pebble right back at him. “You’re still awake too?”

“Yeah,” Riku frowns, eyeing Sora’s unusually timid frame in his baggy pajamas on the ground below. “Do you want to come up?”

Sora grins. “Do you still have it?”

“One sec,” Riku pushes his bed back away from the window, pulling up a homemade ladder from underneath the windowsill and throwing it over, pleased when it still appears to reach the ground.

“I haven’t used this in years,” Sora beams, forgetting to whisper as he starts climbing, but Riku doesn’t mind. Riku pushes the bed back against the windowsill, trapping the ladder’s hold even tighter against the wall to eliminate any chance of it breaking under Sora’s weight, and Sora seems to appreciate it just as much, using its position to his advantage and flopping onto Riku’s bed as he rolls in the window.

“You never grow up, do you?” Riku muses aloud, shaking his head with a smile on his face.

“Nope,” Sora grins. “Boring.”

“Got that right,” Riku lowers his voice, taking a place next to Sora on his bed with his feet planted on the ground. “Is everything okay? Are you hurt? Is Kairi alright?”

“Don’t worry so much, Riku,” Sora laughs softly with a playful shove to Riku’s shoulder, but his smile quickly fades. “Kairi’s fine, I even fell asleep on the phone with her.”

“You did, huh,” Riku shifts back, not convinced by Sora’s playfulness. “Yet here you are awake, so you can’t tell me nothing’s wrong.”

Sora doesn’t force a smile this time, but it takes him a while to gather his thoughts enough to speak again. Riku knows not to rush him, but it worries him how much his best friend is hesitating, even after all they’ve been able to confide in each other.  
  
“Promise not to laugh at me?” Sora requests with a hesitant lift in his voice.

“You gonna get sappy on me again?” Riku teases, but Sora’s expression remains unchanged, the worry in his heart so heavy that Riku can feel it too. He nods. “I promise.”

“I can’t sleep,” Sora confesses, the insecurity in his voice much more severe than his admission seems to warrant, but he takes a deep breath before he finishes, “I keep having nightmares and...I’m afraid I won’t wake up.”

“Why wouldn’t you w--” Sora looks pleadingly into Riku’s eyes, and it feels like such a stupid question Riku would hit himself for asking it if wouldn’t ruin the moment. Riku shifts closer to Sora, crossing his legs so they’re sitting across from each other, and puts a hand on Sora’s knee. “I wouldn’t let that happen. Ever.”

“Yeah...” Sora slowly nods in agreement, tentatively setting a hand on top of Riku’s on his knee and giving it a squeeze, his eyes locked on them to the point where he almost zones out. It clicks.

“Do you want to sleep here with me?” Riku asks, already knowing the answer, but it doesn’t change how his heart clenches when Sora breathes a sigh of relief and finally smiles again, nodding when his eyes flicker from Riku’s face back to their hands. “Okay. I’ll get the cot, you can have the bed.”

“No!” Sora lunges for Riku’s arm, grabbing him around the wrist before Riku’s even on his feet, and Riku’s speechless, worried eyes setting on Sora’s panicked face in wait. “I mean...” Sora sits back down, but his grip on Riku’s arm remains strong. “Please...sleep with me.”

Riku’s concern isn’t assuaged, but it’s a request he has no qualms about granting, so he’s quick to pull the blankets back and climb in, inviting Sora to lay down next to him, and Sora is almost frantic to fill in the empty space, facing away from Riku, but without concern about how close they are. When Riku pulls the blankets over both of them, Sora settles his back against Riku’s chest and takes a calming breath. Riku looks down at Sora’s face and sees how deep the dark circles under his eyes are. He suspects this has been happening a lot.

“Thanks Riku,” Sora whispers, already drifting off to sleep now that he’s comfortable for the first time in what Riku can only assume has been weeks without peace.

Just short of two hours later, Riku opens his eyes to realize he’s not the only one who’s comfortable for the first time in a while, surprised to find how easily he drifted off with Sora so close to him, considering how much of an insomniac he’s been ever since they arrived home.

Sora’s position has changed, and Riku understands once he looks down at him why he feels so warm; Sora has his arms wrapped tightly around Riku with his face buried in his chest, legs tangled together so Riku would be incapable of moving – if he even wanted to, that is. He’s certain he doesn’t.

He settles an arm around Sora, resting a comforting hand on his back, but the sudden touch seems to startle Sora, who jerks in his sleep and twitches his legs, beginning to squirm his limbs while they’re still wrapped around Riku. Must be one of the nightmares he mentioned.

“Riku!” Sora calls out, but when Riku pushes back Sora’s hair from his forehead, his eyes are still closed, his body jerking uncomfortably. Riku isn’t certain what to do at first, but Sora calls his name again, then a third time, and Riku’s shirt feels wet, tears from Sora’s sleeping eyes quickly staining it. That’s enough for him.

“Sora, wake up,” Riku whispers, getting flashbacks to the last time he’d said those words and feeling a sense of urgency unnecessary for a nightmare, like he can’t escape the fear of that moment, like he’s reliving it all over again. Louder, he tries again and gently shakes Sora’s shoulder. “Sora, you have to wake up, you’re okay.”  
  
Sora goes still, and opens his eyes, head lifting to look up at Riku, and much to Riku’s confusion, Sora’s tears fall faster once he sees him, burying his face back in Riku’s chest to hide it.

“Sora, what happened?” Riku speaks softly, but louder than whisper, hoping the full tone of his voice can be calming for him. “You’re right here on our island, in my bed with me, and everything’s okay.”

There’s a long pause, and Sora wipes the tears from his eyes, sitting up and letting his legs hang off the side of Riku’s bed, his back towards him. “I can’t...do it again,” he finally says, voice quiet and far away. “I can’t lose you again.”

“Lose me?” Riku slides off his bed and in front of Sora, kneeling down in front of him and looking up at his wet, tired eyes. “You don’t have to worry about losing me.”

“That’s what I thought before,” Sora shakes his head. “But look how many times I almost did. The darkness took you from me so many times, I can’t stop seeing it when I close my eyes.”

“What about everyone else?”

Sora’s jaw tightens. “No one else left me on purpose.”

The words cut Riku deep. Even though everything was for Sora’s sake, it never occurred to him how it must have seemed from Sora’s side of things, and how Riku’s decisions to surrender to the danger in the darkness for Sora were always his own choice, and he can see now looking back that he must have seemed all too willing to do it. “Saving you came before everything else. As long as you were okay, nothing else mattered to me.”

Sora looks down, clenching his fists and balling them on his knees. “I’m not okay without you.” He takes a few shallow breaths. “You thought so hard about keeping me alive you didn’t think about whether I’d be happy...”

“You’re not happy?” Riku’s heart sinks, but seeing the look on his face, Sora leans forward, wrapping his arms around Riku’s neck and resting against him, occupying his lap without a care.

“I am...” Sora rests his head against Riku’s shoulder and his nose brushes the hair near the back of his neck. “Please don’t change that by going away again.”

Riku shakes his head, wrapping protective arms around Sora. “I won’t.”

“How can I know you mean it?”

Riku goes still and quiet, feeling Sora’s heartbeat against his own and listening to the sound of it pounding in his ears. It’s easier, somehow, holding him and not looking at him, and the words burst out of Riku like a firework. “I love you.”

Sora’s heart skips a beat, something Riku feels all too directly, and as it begins racing in contrast, Sora leans back, hands resting on Riku’s shoulders as they lock eyes. “You...you mean--”

“Yeah.” Riku continues looking at him, but he can’t help darting his eyes away ever so often.

“How long have you--”

“Forever.”

“Then why didn’t you--”

“Fear,” Riku breathes, his breath hitting Sora’s cheek. “I was so afraid of those feelings for so long, and then I was so afraid of what it meant, and I was so afraid to tell you and have you hate me or feel weird around me, that would be just like losing you and I couldn’t bear--”

Riku’s ranting is cut off when Sora silences him with a kiss. It takes Riku by surprise, his eyes wide and blinking at Sora’s peacefully closed ones. His hands eventually find their way to comfortably rest at Sora’s sides, but by then Sora is pulling away, ready to look Riku in the eyes again without hesitation. How he does that so easily, Riku will never know.

“So then...” Riku clears his throat, his cheeks red. “You too?”

From Riku’s view, Sora’s eyes are shining. The soft smile and confident nod he gives him are bathed in moonlight, and Riku is certain he’s never looked more beautiful. “Now you really can’t ever leave me behind again,” Sora teases.

But Riku doesn’t mind that, and answers with a kiss of his own, knowing that love is found in the person who brings you peace.

 

 

 

 

  
  
Riku is just shy of 19, and he knows more meanings to ‘love’ than he could count.

His fingers are tangled tightly with Sora’s, letting his best friend drag him along exploring the newest of the many worlds they’ve discovered for the first time together. This one is mostly unfamiliar beaches, and it makes Riku feel so at home and so far away from it at the same time.

But Sora’s here with him, and that’s all the home Riku will ever need.

It’s Sora’s 18th birthday, back in their world, so Riku let him choose where they get to visit this time, even though he kept a tight eye on the steering wheel the entire time Sora was driving the gummi ship. It’s a decision Riku doesn’t regret either, seeing how the sun shines on Sora’s happy face as he points out to sea, walking barefoot along the beach even though Riku had advised him not to.

At one point, Sora stops walking, not letting go of Riku’s hand as he bends down to pick up a sea shell buried at his toes. “Kairi will love this one!” he beams, and tucks it away in his pocket.

A smile grows across Riku’s face. “I love you,” he says softly.

Sora’s eyebrows raise, his head cocked to the side, but only a few seconds pass before he chuckles. “I love you too!”

His voice is louder than it should be when they’re intruding on another world as visitors, but Sora’s never put care into such things. Never put much care into what other people think about him. Riku loves that about him too.

“What made you say that all of a sudden?” Sora starts walking again, but he doesn’t let go of Riku’s hand.

Riku grins. “It’s your birthday and you’re thinking of gifts for other people. What can I say? It’s cute.”

“Hm...” Sora puts his free hand on his hip. “If other people wanna treat me differently ‘cause it’s my birthday, that’s fine, but for me it’s just another day.”

“Treat you differently?” Riku muses out loud, before tugging on Sora’s hand to pull him back, and when Sora is facing him, Riku wraps one arm possessively around Sora’s waist, holding their bodies close against each other. His fingers tip Sora’s chin upwards towards him, and Riku gets a quick smirk in before pressing his lips to Sora’s and resting his hand against Sora’s cheek, harder and more deliberate than even he’d expect from himself. Sora melts into him, going limp almost instantly and leaning against Riku’s arm around him, until Riku traces fingers under Sora’s jawline, following them backwards and releasing Sora from his kiss. “Is that different?”

“Yeah...” Sora whispers dreamily, his eyes still closed until he trips on his own foot in the sand, lucky to have Riku’s arm there to hold him up. “I- I mean, you’ve never kissed me like _that_ before...” He turns away, pulling both hands away from Riku, but Riku is not deterred, able to see how uncharacteristically red Sora’s face is and how quickly he brings his hands up to cover it.

How silly to hide that, Riku thinks. If anything, it only makes him cuter. It’s not as cute how much he misses the feeling of Sora’s hand in his own though, so Riku grasps one from off of Sora’s cheek, threading their fingers together. Surprisingly, Riku catches Sora holding back a smile so wide he has to bite his lip to keep it in check.

“What...made you decide to do that?” Sora asks, now walking closely at Riku’s side instead of in front of him, their shoulders occasionally bumping each other. But Sora doesn’t seem to mind.

“I don’t know,” Riku shrugs, nudging Sora’s shoulder intentionally this time. “Didn’t seem like you had much of a problem with it.”  
  
“Not at all!” Sora shakes his head almost too aggressively. “If pixie dust worked in this world, I bet I would’ve been flying.”

“Funny you should say that,” Riku rubs his thumb across Sora’s knuckles playfully. “That’s how you make me feel all the time.” A beat. “I love you.”

“Riku!” Sora whines, squeezing Riku’s hand. “Again?!”

“Again,” Riku nods. “Sorry. This is one thing you can’t stop me from doing.”

“I don’t want you to stop. I love you too.”  
  
Sora’s voice is softer this time, and it makes Riku’s heart flutter in the way it did when he was in school and discovering the shape romantic feelings could take inside him. In his peripheral vision, the sun is setting, and Riku casually runs a hand through his hair at an angle that flexes his arm muscle in Sora’s view, if he happens to be looking. “Can we sit down? Not to be a sap, but you’re making my knees weak.”

“Riku!” Sora hollers again, lightly shoving Riku’s arm but silently agreeing, taking a seat in the sand and knowing Riku will follow. The instant he does, Sora scoots closer and leans, resting his head on Riku’s shoulder and finding his fingers in the sand on the ground between them. “The water’s warmer than I expected.”

Riku’s shoes prevent him from feeling what Sora is, as the tide washes up just enough to nip his toes, but he’s plenty warm, with Sora’s body so close to his and his heart swelling up so intensely. “Honestly? I’ve never kissed anyone like _that_.”

Sora turns his head so his chin rests on Riku’s shoulder, and Sora looks slightly upwards at him. “Really? I guess it makes sense since you would’ve told me, but why not?”

“Well...” Riku’s stomach flutters seeing Sora looking up at him like that through his eyelashes, eyes so wide and earnest. “Why would I? I’m a coward! I’d never have the courage to kiss someone like that unless my feelings were too strong to ignore. It’s not like that’s ever happened with anyone else.”

Sora pulls his head back and stares, briefly making Riku nervous. “You’ve never had strong feelings for anyone else? Feelings like you have for... _me_?” He emphasizes his own name, looking just slightly away as he says it, with a wrinkle in his brow like he’s realizing Riku’s feelings for the first time.

“Never,” Riku doesn’t hesitate to answer that one. “You’re _it_ , Sora. You’re _everything_.”

“The one you love,” Sora repeats, as if they’re the exact same words Riku used. Riku nods. They might as well be. Without warning, Sora lets go of Riku’s hand and hops to his feet, clearing his throat before loudly annoying, “Riku loves meee!”

“Hey-- Sora, what are you--”

Riku’s quick to his feet, but Sora’s quicker without his shoes, reaching down the beach at a jogging pace and stopping only long enough to yell those words again, this time into the ocean. As soon as Riku is about to catch up with him, Sora dodges out of his grip, spinning back the other way and throwing up his hands to yell it in another aimless direction.

He’s full of such glee, he distracts himself enough that Riku is able to slip off his shoes and socks and get a better grip in the sand, catching up to Sora from behind and grabbing him around his waist, spinning him around and falling into the sand on his back.

“Oh, perfect,” Sora smiles, and Riku doesn’t understand at first, until he realizes he’s underneath Sora’s full weight now, and Sora puts one hand on each of Riku’s wrists, pinning them to the ground as he goes in for the kill, leaning in and kissing Riku with the same intensity that Riku had done to him moments earlier.

Riku’s mind freezes, but his body doesn’t stiffen; quite the opposite, Riku loosens every muscle in his body under Sora’s, feeling more at ease than he ever has before, more free than he could have ever imagined himself being.

Much to his surprise, Sora lingers much longer than Riku had, so much so that even after his grip on Riku’s wrists has disappeared, neither of them move from their spot. Quite the opposite, Riku’s hand finds its way into Sora’s hair, running his fingers through it and holding him, something Sora leans into, kissing Riku more slowly but just as intimately.  
  
They naturally break when Sora moves to turn his head and bumps their noses together, shy smiles forming on both of their faces, and Sora presses his forehead to Riku’s, looking him right in the eye. “Riku loves me~” he whispers, teasingly.

“Yeah,” Riku whispers, and presses a kiss to Sora’s nose. “I love you.” Another kiss, to Sora’s cheek. “I love you.” The other cheek. “I love you.” His forehead. “I lov--”

“One for every kiss, Riku?” Sora chuckles, his stomach vibrating against his. Seeing his smile this close almost makes Riku’s heart stop. “You don’t have to say it every time you think it, you know.”

“Oh, of course not,” The corner of Riku’s lip curls. “If that were it, I don’t think I’d have time to say anything else. Or enough time to do this...” He kisses Sora square on the mouth again, this time short and tender.

“Who’s the sap now?” Sora pokes Riku in the stomach and looks down at him curiously. “Why say it so many times then? Won’t you get sick of it?”

Riku’s eyes turn serious, both hands resting on either side of Sora’s face, and he thinks about all the moments that led him here to this one. “Never,” his thumbs stroke Sora’s cheek. “I love you,” he kisses one of Sora’s eyelids. “I love you,” and then the other. “I love you,” and finally a stolen kiss near Sora’s neck where it meets his ear. “I love you, and I will say it as many times as I need to, to make up for all of the times that I didn’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> for a collab with my friend sol, who made art to go along with it ♥ with a dedication to my friend leo who wanted some hurt/comfort soriku and i wanted to deliver.


End file.
